Category: Love

When one hears love I suspect romantic love is the first one that pops into people’s head. It certainly did for me. But how to capture the profoundness and deepness of the connection I feel? I don’t know about soulmates (although I like the idea), and I think it causes a lot more problems for committment. Listen to Joe Cocker’s words, his emotional declaration, and he has caught how I feel.

A song that just got me from the opening rifts to vocalizations. It presents the carefree waiting on a corner and after the chase, there is the friend. 

 

Translated variably from the German, Gemeinschaftsgefuehl can mean community feeling, social interest, social feeling or social sense.

 

“And since true happiness is inseparable from the feeling of giving, it is clear that a social person is much closer to happiness than the isolated person striving for superiority. Individual Psychology has very clearly pointed out that everyone who is deeply unhappy, the neurotic and the desolate person stem from among those who were deprived in their younger years of being able to develop the feeling of community, the courage, the optimism, and the self-confidence that comes directly from the sense of belonging. This sense of belonging that cannot be denied anyone, against which there are no arguments, can only be won by being involved, by cooperating, and experiencing, and by being useful to others. Out of this emerges a lasting, genuine feeling of worthiness. ” (From a new translation of “Individual Psychology,” Einführung in die neuere Psychologie, 1926, in the AAINW/ATP Archives.)

Love in a song

I see friends shaking hands.
Saying, “How do you do?”
They’re really saying,
“I love you”.

Such an awesome sentiment about love in friendship. While the song is clearly more than just these few lines, it is really the deep meaning that comes through as decodes the state of friendship. Tom Rath declared “Friendships are among the most fundamental of human needs,” in his book Vital Friends. Not surpringsly we spend much more time with friends in our teenage years than later on (1/3 vs only 10%). He identifies 8 roles:

Builder, Champion, Collaborator, Companion, Connector, Energizer, Mind Opener, and Navigator.

 

1. Builder–

builders are great motivators,always pushing you towards the finish line. They continually invest in your development and genuinely want you to succeed — even if it means they have to go out on a limb for you. Builders are generous with their time as they help you see your strengths and use them productively. When you want to think about how you can do more of what you already do well, talk to a Builder. Much like the best coaches and managers, these are the friends who lead you to achieve more each day. And great Builders will not compete with you. They figure out how their talents can complement yours. If you need a catalyst for your personal or professional growth, stay close to a Builder.

 

2. Champion

Champions stand up for you and what you believe in. They are the friends who sing your praises. Every day, this makes a difference in your life. Not only do they praise you in your presence, the Champion also “has your back” — and will stand up for you when you’re not around. They accept you for the person you are, even in the face of resistance. Champions are loyal friends to whom you can share things in confidence. They have a low tolerance for dishonesty. You can count on them to accept what you say, without judging, even when others do not.  Champions are your best advocates. When you succeed, they are proud of you, and they share it with others. Champions thrive on your accomplishments and happiness. When he needs someone to promote your cause, look to Champion.

 

3. Collaborator

A Collaborator is a friend with similar interests — the basis for many great friendships. You might share a passion for sports, hobbies, religion, work, politics, food, Visa, movies, or books. In many cases, you belong to the same groups or share affiliations. When you talk with a Collaborator, you are on familiar ground, and this can serve as the foundation for lasting relationship. Indeed, in those conversations, you often find that you have similar ambitions in life. Looking for someone who can relate to your passions? Find a Collaborator.

 

4. Companion

A Companion is always there for you, whatever the circumstances. When something big happens in your life — good or bad — this is one of the first people you call. At times, a true companion will even sense where you are headed — your thoughts, feelings, and actions — before you know it yourself. Companions take pride in your relationship and they will sacrifice for your benefit. They are the friends for whom you might literally put your life on the line. If you’re searching for friendship that can last a lifetime, look no further than a Companion.

 

5. Connector-

A Connector is a bridge builder will to get what you want. Connectors get to know you — and then introduce you to others. These are the people you socialize with regularly. Friends who play the role of a Connector are always inviting you to lunch, dinner, drinks, and other gatherings where you can meet new people. This extends your network dramatically and gives you access to newfound resources. When you need something — a job, doctor.. friend, or a date — a Connector points you in the right direction. They seem to know everyone. If you need to get out more or simply want to widen your circle of friends or business associates, a Connector can help.

 

6. Energizer

Energizers are your fun friends who will always give you a boost. You have more positive moments when you are with these friends. Energizers are quick to pick you up when you are down — and can make a good day great. They are always saying and doing things that make you feel better. Energizers have a remarkable ability to figure out what gets you going. When you’re around these friends, you smile a lot more. You’re more likely to laugh in the presence of an Energizer. If you want to relax and have a good time or need to get out of a rut, call an Energizer.

 

7. Mind Opener

Mind Openers are the friends who expand your horizons and encourage you to embrace new ideas, opportunities, cultures, and people. They challenge you to think in innovative ways and help you create positive change. Mind Openers know how to ask good questions, and this makes you more receptive to ideas. When you are around a Mind Opener you are unguarded and express opinions aloud, especially controversial ones that you might not be comfortable sharing with other friends. These friends broaden your perspective on life and make you a better person. If you need to challenge the conventional wisdom or shake up the status quote, spend a few hours talking with a Mind Opener.

 

8. Navigator

Navigators are the friends who give you advice and keep you headed in the right direction. You go to them when you need guidance, and they talk through the pros and cons with you until you find an answer. In a difficult situation, you need a Navigator by your side. They help you see a positive future and keep things grounded in reality. Any time you are at a crossroads and need help making a decision, you can look to a Navigator. They help you know who you are — and who you are not. They are the ideal friends to share your goals and dreams with, and when you do, you’ll continue to learn and grow. When you ask Navigators for direction they help you reach your destination.

Many of my friends live more lively on the cyber world. I am so grateful for Facebook which has allowed my to reconnect and stay somewhat connected with them.Chris Petterson stated “Other people matter. But few of them are mind readers. Let them know that they matter. They might benefit. And you certainly will.” These friends in cyberland matter. I have always appreciated the people who walk back into my life like 5 or 10 minutes have passed, we pick up, not where we left off, but we simply pick up. Time has been transcended, because the conversations of yesterday were important to yesterday, but the conversation for today is the one here, now.

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A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself – Jim Morrison

 

Going hand in hand with friendship is gratitude. I have never walked this journey alone. I have been blessed by many kind friends over the years. To Them: